Chemotherapy - One Down, Three To Go

Today I had my first chemotherapy treatment. So far so good, but time will tell. I will have a total of four treatments, so only 3 more to go. Treatments are every 3 weeks for 3 months. My next treatment is the day before my birthday, so I hope it doesn't kick in on my birthday!

I had to check in at 7:30am to get lab work done. I was pretty tired, but not as tired as I had expected. I couldn't go to sleep last night. It was kind of like Christmas eve, except the opposite feelings. Instead of excitement, I wasn't able to go to sleep because of anxiety. The unknown always scares me. But this morning I was able to wake up, but I'm just really tired now. The IV was a little uncomfortable because I had it for 3 hours and each time they attached me to another medicine it would sting a bit, but all in all it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. I had my own personal television, a comfortable reclining chair, and they even fed me a healthy organic lunch. Banner MD Anderson Cancer Center is awesome. I would recommend it to anyone that is going through cancer. I was told if I react to the chemo, meaning get nausea, vomiting, or fatigue, I would feel it within a couple days, so I am hoping I don't get sick. I am expecting fatigue since I already have it from surgery, but it's gotten a lot better. I also have to be extra cautious to stay away from any germs or illnesses because I will easily catch an illness and if I do, my body won't fight it off very well. I usually get sick every winter, but I am telling my body to stay strong and to fight off any germs. 

The mind is such a powerful thing. Some don't realize how your thinking can dramatically change your body. I have tried to have a positive outlook on everything and I know it's helped a lot with the healing process, even though I'm not always positive, but every bit counts. I truly believe that any trial you go through in life, whether big or small, you can control how you feel by your attitude and positive thinking. Everyone had battles and the frustrating thing is that a lot of times we compare our situations with others. We don't see all the challenges others are going through because most people will only share the good things that are going on in their life. I have seen so many people that seem to have it all (at least the world would tell you so), the money, the cars, the nice house, the beautiful wife or husband, and still not happy, and then I've seen the poorest, sickest, yet the happiest people that have such a good outlook on life that makes life so much more worth living. I want to be that person that always thinks positive no matter what and that can always find positive in a negative situation. What's the point of living if you are always negative about life? Life is hard as it is, so why be so miserable during it when you can have control of your happiness. You can't change your circumstances, but you CAN change your happiness. I am not angry that I got cancer. I am looking at it as a blessing for me to look at my life in a better perspective and pick out all the little things that I want to change about myself. It is so empowering to change your perspective and to look at things differently. I do not at all have a perfect life, a perfect husband, a perfect child, a perfect body, perfect health, a perfect anything, but I do have the perfect situation made especially for me to learn so much from and to become a better person. I thank all those that have been an inspiration and a support to me thus far. I have gained so much courage and strength from each and every one of you. You know who you are. I love you all. 

So next time you see me I will probably be bald, so be prepared. I am going to sport lots of headwraps and beanies (thank goodness it will be during the winter!). My sister in law offered to cut my hair short this weekend to help the falling out process and to help give me an idea of how I can style it when it starts growing back next year. I will probably have a breakdown when I see it, but hey it will make the "I'm bald" breakdown a little less dramatic which will be probably next week, so I'll probably only have my short do for a week or less. Chemo is 3 months and my hair will be about an inch long 3-4 months after my last treatment, so in 6-7 months I'll have long enough hair to take off the beanies and headwraps. I am terrified, but this experience is very humbling and helping remind me that I can be happy with myself no matter what I am dealt. 

On a much happier note, my beautiful sister and her now called husband got married last week in the Mesa Temple! It was a beautiful wedding and reception. They had their first reception here in Mesa at the Wright House, then this weekend we went up to the White Mountains for her second reception. It was absolutely gorgeous. The weather was beautiful. Aren't they the cutest couple!?!?!? We just love Spencer and are so happy to have him in the family. Congrats to Candice and Spencer. Stay tuned for lots of pictures from the wedding, but here's just a sneak peek of the White Mountains Reception :)