Update. Im still Alive

Well its been a while since I've updated everyone with my breast cancer status and I can't sleep because of the beautiful sound of rain and because the Mulan theme song is stuck in my head so  I thought what the heck, I might as well blog as I lay in bed so I can update everyone since its been a few weeks. 

The past few weeks I've  been trying to heal from the 3 surgeries I had within a week and a half of each other. It was a lot on my body but I got through it. Its just taken a little extra time for me to gain all my energy back and I'm still not quite there yet. The challenging part right now is that the plastic surgeon is getting started before chemotherapy starts by getting my skin expanded enough for implants and reconstruction which will be after chemotherapy. We still don't know yet what the exact date will be that but I was told typically its 3-4 weeks from the last surgery which now its been about 4 weeks so I'm anticipating it will be soon. The expanding process has been pretty uncomfortable and often very painful. Since I lost a lot of its pulling skin from all the surrounding areas which is causing sore and achey muscles particularly around my ribs and on my back and obviously the breast area. At the beginning it was even painful to wear a shirt. Its getting better or maybe I'm just getting more used to feeling this way but my doctor said we are almost to the goal mark, which I am anxiously awaiting. 

Good news though, I no longer have my awful tubes coming out of my armpits! Yay! That was a huge step. Those things were so uncomfortable and annoying and I'm so happy they are out. 

Another tough thing that is challenging right now is that we are moving out of my parents guest house and into my parents downstairs. It doesn't sound that big of a move but for me with low energy its been tough. My dad gave me the option because the reason we're moving out is because my grandma will be moving in. She is in Utah right now and was hoping to come down for my sisters wedding on September 20th and then move into the apartment. With all of what is going on with me, my Dad gave us the option to stay in the apartment until I'm finished with chemo. At first that sounded like the most logical decision, but hearing how much my grandma is struggling I couldn't deal with the guilt so I decided to give my Dad the ok to start moving out. I really didn't realize how much crap we have. We are just about finished moving out but the apartment looks like a hurricane struck! Yesterday I was feeling so overwhelmed so my sweet mom and dad stepped right up to the plate and helped Tanner move mostly everything else as I lounged on the couch watching Disney movies with Kaydence, hence the reason I have Mulan theme song still playing in my head. I feel a lot better even though I have a lot of cleaning to do at the apartment and our new place but we got a lot done yesterday so that feels good. It also is a lot more spacious and homey than I expected. We have our own bathroom and kitchen still. All we have to share is the laundry room. Plus Kaydence finally has her own room instead of a pantry. I am actually sleeping in it until I'm finished with chemo because when I first found out I had breast cancer I caved and allowed Kaydence to start sleeping with us again. It all started with "mommy, can I sleep in ours bed for a minute?" and from then on she was in our bed so its a habit again and she's an awful sleeper so I've been sleeping alone That way she won't wake me when she wakes up during the night. As soon as I'm healthy were going to have to  get her in her own bed again. 

Everything sure is crazy for my family right now. We have all this cancer stuff going on, my sisters getting married in a few weeks, my sister and her husband just moved out, my grandma is moving in so we're moving out, and kicking my brother Dallas out into my Dads office, who is kicking my Dads office out to the spare room in the guest house, and then to top it off my brother Dustin is coming home from his mission in 3 months! Crazy stuff and a lot of changes but that's life. My poor mother. She has a lot to deal with right now but is handling it all with a smile. She is such a great example that I gain a lot of my strength from and I love her dearly along with my Dad and all my other family members.

So that's pretty much what has been going on. I will update when we get a date for chemotherapy. Maybe it will be after my sisters wedding so I can still have my hair but I highly doubt it. I am just going to embrace it all and wear cute scarves. I found a perfect one for the wedding so were set. Luckily I'm not in love with my hair. I've always struggled with my thin hair and trying to like how it looks so I'll probably love the fact I won't have to do it for a while. Finding positive out of a negative situation is very invigorating and therapeutic. Its really been how I've gotten this far without going crazy and its really taught me to appreciate what I have because its not always greener grass on the other side, even though it is always portrayed that way. Everyone has their trials in life and quite frankly I'm glad that this is one of my trials because I'm learning and growing so close to my family particularly my husband. I thought we had a good marriage but it gets even better as you go through trials together with the right state of mind and the same priorities. I'm not at all saying we have the perfect marriage because we don't but I do know that we are perfect for each other. 

Thanks for all the continued prayers and acts of service including meals from my family and ward family. Its been very much appreciated and I can't thank you all enough.