Second Surgery & Chemo Plan

I had my second surgery last Friday which was a rush surgery since we found out there is more cancer the day prior. It went well, but it sure was an aggressive surgery. They had to take my implant out and took all the tissue around it all the way to my armpit. Then close it tightly so there's quite a bit of stretching and it's very tender. First few days felt like how I felt with my very first surgery, the double mastectomy. You don't realize how much you use your chest muscles, until you have such an intense surgery as this. They also took out my previous drain, and put in a new one with this surgery. Each day gets a little better. I am starting to wean myself off the pain pills so that I can start chemotherapy soon. 

When I first looked at my self in the mirror, I wanted to cry, but my sweet husband reminded me of how beautiful I am even with all my scars. I thank God every day for blessing me with such an amazing husband. I have accepted the new me and I am reminded of the true beauty within which is much more important and what actually matters. My scars are my battle wounds that will continually remind me and my family what we've been through and how it brought us to where we are today. 

I met with my oncologist yesterday. It brought some of my fear to the surface. She feels like this is our last chance to really cure me since no more surgery is even possible since they've done as much as they can surgically. Also radiation typically is only done once in any area, so that won't be an option, unless the radiation doctor decides it's worth the risk, but that will be determined after chemo. My chemo plan is going to be 3 different chemos for 3 months, and if my body tolerates it well enough, she would like to do more, possibly up to 6 months total. One of the chemos has very serious but rare side effects, including leukemia and heart failure. We got results today that there is a protein called HER2+ in my cancer, that responds really well to a antibody medicine called hercepcin. This is good news in my oncologists perspective because it helps her know what we can attack it best with instead of shooting in the dark. It also means we can lower the rounds of the serious chemo since we have the antibodies to help battle it. I will do hercepcin infusions every 3 weeks for a year. Also instead of 4 rounds of the serious chemo, it will be 3 rounds total, then will continue with the other 2 chemos for as long as needed or as long as my body can tolerate it, plus the herceptin during the chemo treatments. So looking at 3 months chemo for sure, and then after 3 months to determine how much more by body can handle, if any. I spent the rest of the day with my Mom. We shed a few tears, but decided we need to cling to our faith and push out any negative thoughts. 

I am meeting with my surgeon on Monday and we will hopefully take my drain out, as long as the discharge is lower than 20mm per day by then. If so, we hope to start chemotherapy next week. 

I am praying for a miracle that this time I will be 100% cured and will no longer have to battle this nor have my family suffer and worry about me. My family is everything to me and I hate watching them suffer as they watch me suffer. I am having a special fast on Sunday and my husband will be giving me a priesthood blessing. For any that would like to join in the fast, that would be greatly appreciated. I firmly believe in the power of prayer, and then fasting added on top of that can produce miracles. I believe I can be healed and I know this trial is for my own benefit and hopefully I can be an inspiration for others to draw closer to Christ and to re-evaluate their lives to recognize what really matters. I am continually pushing out any doubt or loss of hope and replacing it with thoughts of faith, hope and miracles. This is the only way. Miracles cannot happen when doubt is present. Prayer and extraordinary faith can bring forth miracles and I know I can receive these miracles. I know I have many other blessings in store for me in this life and I plan to live long enough to receive all of them with my family by my side.